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12/12/04--02:21: Melancholy (chan 2055747)




As my tears cease their now daily spurting,  I wonder how some can be so hurting.  A black book with two words should bring solace  Promised to me in those words so righteous.  Yet I feel nothing that would soothe my soul.  My heart, my thoughts begin to take its toll.  Once again I seek you out for some strength  I feel nothing except being at arm's length.  Abandoning me in my time so low,  Serenity and comfort do not grow.  You are never there when I need you the most.  Send me an angel; let me hear her boast,  How faith in you will relinquish all pain  When people feel they'


12/12/04--11:53: Solstice (chan 2055747)




Pagan whispers filter through hollow naked twigs.  Wisping willows sway to rhymed music.  Sacrificial alliances within twilight gathers,  Chanced by a ghostly moonlight.   Pledges written by dripping scented wax.  Promises declared by a Poppy's potion.  Unseen knowledge receives whole-hearted devotion,  To a deity illusion and a majestic power.   Brought together on sacred starred nights,  Invaluable psalms repeat tradition.  A Winter's Way to a spectra of colours,  Upon which their chaotic faith rests.


12/31/04--00:37: Can You Tell Me Where I Am? (chan 2055747)




Can you tell me where I am?  Its empty and its dark,  I'm numb and I'm cold.  My voice echoes over slimy walls.  Smarten up I'm told.   Can you tell me where I am?  I know I'm alone.  I have no more to give.  Lost in confusion,  I will no more to live.   Can you tell me where I am?  My reality is incoherent  Fear is real  Shame is golden.  Hate made of steel,  I exist.


12/31/04--00:41: My Distance (chan 2055747)




It may be distance which keeps us apart,  And time is not it's best or on our side.  On this day of matters of the heart,  Feelings are seemingly harder to hide.  In you I see a friend with a great care,  One who seems to hold that one special key,  Someone within my life that I do share.  Who has opened my heart and set it free.  Hard to believe how close we really are,  Since the miles between us are so grand.  Within my mind and heart you're never far;  Forever you'll always be close at hand.  So I ask of you; will you please be mine?  On this day, will you be my Valentine?


01/16/05--02:01: Just Breathe (chan 2055747)




I call upon a faith I cannot see,  to help me through this war of life I lead.  In shallow puddles of mud I shall play,  in hopes of chasing these feelings away.  From now until then I shall try to stand,  to set forth the one with the golden hand.  Music featherly floats down from above  and gingerly ceases the pain I love.  With all that weighing my head to the ground,  my eyes will close and my mouth makes no sound.  In this darkness the sun shall not be seen,  this world has been changed into something mean.


01/16/05--22:06: Black (chan 2055747)




There's something secretly sexy about a star-filled night.  A private darkness open to millions.  Whispering winds swarm into souls  Coveting hearts of many.  Dreams are wishes begging to come true.  Silken waves wilt my songs still.  How many stars flutter in the night?  A hooting owl watches over darkened fields;  While mice look high in fear and flee.  Is death only deepened by dirt?  What makes dark dark?  What makes light light?  And why do the stars light the night up high?


01/23/05--20:16: Sibling Rivalry (chan 2055747)




No less an angel in your eyes is he,  Never at fault and never will be.  Blinded by the lies hes fed you through time,  Growing up has been his only true crime.  Sheltered by you he can never do wrong.  Emotions in me are all too strong.  Pushed aside I watch as you love him more.  He is the baby; so much you adore.  So I guess that means I shall be left out.  Standing alone, no one can hear me shout.  The game of life says you compete for love.  Not true you say, yet I am the black dove.


01/31/05--02:40: Wow... (chan 2055747)




I never thought I'd see the day when I actually do a journal entry. Being a private person usually stops that--so does my thought process of doing an entry about myself seems very self-centred.

So what brings me to writing one? Well, turns out I confirmed I have the flu and I can't sleep--which is really weird since I took so much cold/flu meds that it should have tranquilized an elephant for hours. I was going to drag my sorry ass into work tomorrow but when I finally took my temp, it clearly showed I have a high fever! JOY

My friends sometimes bug me about being sick most of the time; well it's not my fault I have a bad immune system.


01/31/05--02:45: Seedling (chan 2055747)




They all say to me you are not alone,  Then why has my heart hardened to a stone?  Happy I am not to be here right now,  Show me where to go; Someone show me how  To pick up these pieces I once called me  And help me soar through the sky and fly free;  Like a feather being lifted by wind.  Take me from this place where all I have sinned,  And show me a better place where I know  The real me has a little time to grow.


02/01/05--23:45: Vampire (chan 2055747)




I crave the darkness, which shadows life.  Charismatic wilting blades-shards of steel.  Purified souls dance naked upon thy hunger.  Spectral shows battle deep within mind.   Burdens of a forsaken life chain down  Those longing for eternal freedom.  Passion risks aromatic allusions  Where sickly scarred souls  Shatter existence as we know.   Filtration of virtuous commands a new day.  Expulsion of pernicious devour a past night.  Granted upon thy bleeding heart,  Mutation of time descends upon us.


02/14/05--22:37: Injured Wings (chan 2055747)




Leaving reality daring to dream so high,  In a place where no sadness exists to cry.  Getting my hopes up and feeling with you,  Not believing things were too good to be true.  With one sharp stab, my illusion drifted away,  Hearing the words I never thought you’d say.  Falling so far from my dreams,  I’ve broken a wing so it seems.   Unable to stand or even fly,  Succumbed to the darkness I begin to cry.  Curled up with a wing broken and bent,  I feel my life energy has been spent.  Thank you for slapping reality in my face,  Ashamed, betrayed, I’m more than disgraced. &nb


02/14/05--22:51: Awake (chan 2055747)




Amazing how sometimes a headache can make you aware of everything around you; All of the sounds, the smells, the tension.

Even my teeth hurt. Guess that means bedtime is calling me--perhaps I can just lay there and work my magic!


01/06/06--01:12: Hmm. (chan 2055747)




With a new year upon us, I'm probably amongst others who have determinations to make the next year even better than the last.  My previous year include a lot of soul searching, finding me, and discovering my wants, needs, and desires. This next year is going to be my year of taking charge and taking some risks. I've gotten too comfortable in my safety zone and stepping out once and a while is always a good thing ;)

Even though it's only the first week of the new year I'm already burnt. I can't be super woman all the time, it seems ;) One positive thing is that school is done but I need to decide if I'm going to do my masters. It


03/26/06--21:04: Rookie (chan 2055747)




Rookie: A Struggle for Survival     Standing over his grave, the wind wisps her salt and pepper hair around her face. The crisp wind brought her past before her eyes…     It was cold but tonight was different. It’s really cold. The light breeze made it worse. It was definitely not a good night to be out on the streets. By the way, my name is Cori. However, on the street I’m called Rookie-cause I’m new. It’s not as bad as people think on the streets. I’m not a druggie, junkie, or a drunk. I’m just me. Now and then I see a flier my parents have posted in desperation of finding me. They’d always read “Cori Fa


03/26/06--21:14: To My Sanity (chan 2055747)




To My Sanity   As I sit by the marble light  my mind is transfixed;  A cracking of the flame,  brings me in and out of time.  I seem to be held by the light and  while I watch the flames dance,  I can't say I'm in thought.....  My mind appears blank.   The warmth upon my face,  comforts me.  The sound upon my ears  soothes me.  With no reason,  I begin to cry  and  just let myself go  as if I was spring cleaning  and getting rid of the things  I did not need.   I feel a soothing hand upon my back;  trying to comfort me.


03/26/06--21:42: Happiness (chan 2055747)




Happiness is nothing  but a shallow expression  in which some live.   The latest trends  bring momentary peace  but the search  never seems to end.   Childish lives live high  where laughter falls most.   Sufficient pain  strews through our veins  riddled with poison.


03/26/06--21:51: Chaotic mess (chan 2055747)




It seems like a life-time ago that everything was turned upside down. Still feels like it.

I haven't written anything on it and perhaps it's time--the nightmares are getting worse and I don't feel at ease. Although I feel the year could not get any worse for me, I do feel as if something.... dramatic is going to happen. Something doesn't feel right.

It's not just within my own world, but I see and hear about things happening in other's worlds that really get me uneasy. I just don't have a good feeling about this...

It would be wrong of me to go on and complain that the year is going to be completely dark, miserable, and demonic. I